Weltschau

Almost always, when people find out that you fought, they ask such common questions as, “Were you there?” and What was there?”How is it there? How many orcs did you kill? Were you scared?” Heh…. I will try to answer them as much as I encountered these questions.

Was I “there”? Yes, there was. Was I forced to leave? No, I left because I had to; I left with my boys because it’s easier with my own. As I have said more than once, “Guys! We have been together for so long that we only have to put a stamp in the passport!” Of course, there were different opinions. Sorry, how can we do without it? But you know what I noticed? When a person gets “there,” he changes and becomes himself, as if all his secret features come out into the world. Then you will recognize yourself from the other side, anew. At zero, people unite very strongly, so no polygon matching unites.

Irpin

How is it there? It’s not a resort, that’s for sure, although everyone is trying to make the living conditions as comfortable as possible with joint efforts, but still, these are not home duvets. And mice… It’s just amazing how many of them there are—mice everywhere. From above, from the side, and under your head, they just crawl on you regardless of anything. It got to the point that you chased the mouse away, and it got angry and rushed at you. In a word, mice in the dugouts are just some kind of element.

Of course, if you don’t take into account the fact that death is flying by you, you just get used to it by the sound; you already determine where the mine, projectile, etc. will fly. As for hygiene, thinking saves here; it still depends on where you are, how to properly organize a bath, and, as my friend said, wet wipes have not been canceled yet. Culinary masterpieces help a lot. How good it is to eat delicious soup, even if it is cooked from the same canned food, believe me, it tastes completely different. And these most precious moments of peace… when you are left alone with your thoughts, to remember home, how everything was before the war… At such moments, you begin to appreciate what you used to take for granted.

What’s there? Many boys, having visited zero, say that it is easier here than in a peaceful life. It’s just that a person realizes that many of the principles he adhered to in a peaceful life are not appropriate here, do not work, and should not be adhered to in principle. This, as it were, releases a person and illuminates his features that were deeply hidden before. But when you get into another life, not on the front line, it seems to me that you need to realise and get used to the idea that all the problems here are nothing compared to when a bullet or debris flies past your head. And it’s scary to make close friends because you just talked to this person, and now he’s lying dead in front of you, or you’ll find out about it, and no matter how hard you try, you can’t get used to it… No way.

Sometimes you dream about these guys, you talk to them, you joke, and everything is so painfully familiar, but when you come back to reality, you realize that everything is not the same as before; he is not around…simply not… And no one will tell you, “Let’s organize medicine classes!…” or he will lay out the cards for you to lay out for the future, or you can just drink a beer with him in a relaxed atmosphere. Thousands of smiles, broken destinies, hopes, hearts, families… That’s what there is…

How many orcs have you killed? Hmm…what a question. If I’m being honest, I didn’t see anyone in the sights; that’s how the battles were, but the enemy attacked us from the shelters, we responded in the same way. I’ll be honest, I think it’s a stupid idea to stick your head into a loophole that is being shot at from all sides. Lack of sleep and fatigue also bear fruit. Already on the second day, I had hallucinations, because during the last day and a half at the position, I closed my eyes only for a few minutes because I simply could not control myself. But the enemy did not let us get bored. Constant attacks both day and night. The enemy successfully used more advantageous positions. And there were just a lot of them there… Like cockroaches. To be honest, I want to pay tribute to the organizational aspects of the Russians. Some are digging in them, others are fighting, others are raising shells, and others are carrying three hundred men away, and they are doing all this almost under heavy fire, with almost no casualties. But this is only due to the fact that they have a huge advantage in numbers… Simply incredible! “Did you kill many of them?” they ask me, and sometimes, quietly, as if afraid of the answer, they ask, “And how many of our people died?” How many?

One is already a lot… And when a company goes into position and a little more than twenty men go into formation on rotation… the other three hundred, and far from all of them, will join the formation again, and the second… the second two hundred… oh yes… And this is just one little story of mine; how many others can tell you? Thousands… Stupid war, I didn’t understand how everything is like that: from one side, the enemy attacked, and we are defending our land. But many moments hint that this war is “contractual,” as if there is an agreement between our commanders as to how many of ours will die and how many, where, and when theirs will die. People in general do not count. We are not officially called that—pencils! By the way, Russians are also like that… Yes, moms stamp pencils, and the system raises headless slaves in them, and those pencils go to die for silly ideas. Unfortunately, everything is the same with us and with them. You will tell me, “Why go to war for your country? Is this a ridiculous idea?” So I agree with you, but… look back and see what is happening in the cities! Already everywhere, everyone who is not lazy is openly making money from the war; money from the budget is openly going to the wrong needs, and you, ordinary people, send it to the Armed Forces. And here you are sitting there in the trench and thinking, “How many orcs have I killed? Are we fighting with those orcs??” Unfortunately, they are both in the front and in the rear…

Were you scared? So! It was! Not always and not everywhere, but it happened, and I confess honestly! I remember the first time I got scared when I got to the position and the battle started. My machine jammed, I’ll be honest; I cleaned it, greased it, and tried to protect it, and the sand is such an insidious thing… I remember the feeling of relief when I pulled the shutter and forcefully fed it in place, and the weapon began to work. There, you just pray to a machine gun. I don’t know who, but for me, it was almost the only chance to survive because there was no hope for machine guns. I could have covered you… The second time it became scary, when my brother was wounded, I forcibly forced him to leave the position together with the evacuation groups as a team. And then, at the end of the night, he remained alone in the trench, although there was another soldier two meters away, and he had already been in the position for the third day. To be honest, an overtired person does not behave quite stably and adequately, I know for myself. It was even scarier when we lost the antenna from the already mutilated walkie-talkie, and in absolute darkness, we managed to find it by groping under shelling, but it was a joy… I remember my first throw of a grenade, when the check bounced off a tree and landed on my forehead, and I thought that the grenade returned to me… Now you remember this with a smile, but then… heh, I didn’t think I could crawl so fast on my belly. When the tank shelled our positions… kapets, here’s your way out and here’s the arrival, and this sound of trucks, which makes everything cool in the middle… But the realization that you are surrounded, that you understand that there will be no hand-to-hand combat, that you will just be pelted with grenades, was probably scarier, and that’s all. And that sound of metal hitting a tree, and the sound of it falling to the ground next to you… This is when drones are dropped, and you squeeze into that armor vest like a turtle in a shell, trying with every cell to get under the protection of the plates. You curl up in a ball and pray, at least … to survive …. Then there was just a rain of shells; it was as if the Russians were eating porridge and throwing out grenades and cartridges; they had a lot of them. And when the wounded came out of the position, even when the mines exploded nearby, it was not scary… Well, it was scary, sometimes not scary. It was scary when you were winding up your brothers and you realized that at any moment he could tear off the tourniquet because he was in pain. You see how he is bleeding, and you try to do everything possible to save him. You exhale already when everyone was safely delivered to the hands of professional doctors. I remember that I didn’t just write down the time of the turnstiles; I remembered it. I shouted there at the first aid station that it hadn’t been two hours and that my brother’s leg had not been amputated. I was reassured and told that everything was fine… Thank God!

And it’s scary to realize that in the rear, this war is no longer perceived properly; the government is deceiving and outright stealing. The attitude towards the military has worsened; so many people still have respect, but it is clear that they are tired of it….tired…Heh…What about the guys who have been there for the second year? So everyone is tired, very tired, especially morally. You can only hear the prophets of the Molfars: “Here! And the end! And here we will win!…” And it’s scary for the future, for the children, and anger sweeps in… One hope for the truth and God!

There are so many moments, but despite everything, with faith in the truth and with God in our hearts, we, Ukrainians, will persevere and win! Because it cannot be otherwise!